Status

Experiencing symptoms from traumatic brain injury, concussions and repetitive head hits.

Challenging to manage. Adversity. That’s why efforts have been put into rehabilitation for 16 years.

This work has helped manage the health. Yet, symptoms remain. Several have intensified.

The other concern is the emergence of recent symptoms. Most notably, struggles with movement and speech.

Then there’s the personality. It started changing during the early thirties. Not in good ways. Deep depression. Severe mood swings. Loss of interest. Minimal patience. Hypersensitivty. Lack of drive. Impulsivity. High temper. Explosive outbursts. Executive function issues. I’m losing control of thoughts and behaviors.

The baseline behavior before the brain injuries was grounded in discipline. There was control of thought. Steady behavior. High drive to achieve. All of which was backed by a strong psychology with an optimistic outlook on the future.

When reflecting on these times, I’ve found the Self-Identity to be important. Here’s why.

‘Image of self’ determines ‘thoughts of self’.

Thoughts drive behaviors. Behaviors create habits. Habits generate results. Quality of results then weakens, maintains or strenghtens the Self-Identity. All of which impacts the quality of health and life. Further, this process can turn into a perpetuating cycle. Meaning, the patterns of thoughts, behaviors and habits build on each other. Then continue indefinitely. At least until the pattern(s) are identified and a decision is made to change.

That’s why the Cairn Log was created. It provides guidance on how to leverage this process for good. In doing so, it strengthens the Self-Identity. A requirement to get through the adversity being faced.

A decision was also made to publish these Cairn Logs. A few reasons being that they:

Provide a standard to aim for and the path to achieve it.
Focus on small daily wins that lead to positive momentum.
Establish accountability and commitment to follow through.

In addition, they’re being published because of the guidance received. This experience is shared and detailed within Origin.

The structure of the Cairn Log consists of 6 Rock Levels:

HRTLEAD Creed
Training
Nutrition
Conditioning Cairn
Notes
Reflections

Each of which has a purpose. All of which integrate together. In doing so, the Cairn Log has the potential to strengthen and secure the Self-Identity. This potential is then realized when the required effort is given. Along with having the discipline and resilience to follow through until the desired objectives are achieved.

Rock 1 - HRTLEAD Creed

The foundation of the Cairn Log is the HRTLEAD Creed. It contains 3 Behavioral Standards. Backed by 9 Actions that must be executed to achieve those Standards.

The first Behavioral Standard is Disciplined Focus. The 3 Actions:

Operate with intent. Identify the purpose of each day. Along with every initiative and action. Then take action. Keep the purpose front of mind.

Commit to optimal. Give the best effort. The head injuries will make it difficult. Work through it. Production over perfection.

Build body / mind. Train effectively. Eat clean. Study. These practices generate discipline and habit. They build strengh to persist through adversity.

The second Behavioral Standard is Always Kind. The 3 Actions:

Embrace adversity. Challenges are inevitable. See the good. Identify the opportunity. Then work to take advantage of it.

Leverage empath. An innate strength. Leverage it to regulate emotions. Utilize it to positively impact.

Selfless giving. Give without expectation of return. Always add value. Leave situations and people better than they were before.

The third Behavioral Standard is Leader Ethic. The 3 Actions:

Stoic determination. Operate and speak through action. No matter the hardship, endure. Never give in.

Elevate standards. Take complete accountability and ownership. Give the best effort. Then strive to become even better.

Live to impact. A perspective that establishes purpose. This purpose then generates the resilience required to maintain discipline and navigate the challenges being faced.

The primary objective of the HRTLEAD Creed is to consistently display these 3 Behavioral Standards. This is achieved by executing the 9 Actions. In doing so, the Creed guides efforts to strengthen and secure the Self-Identity.

Rock 2 - Training

It’s important to build the body. In doing so, the mind will also be built.

The current approach: Walking and Weight Training.

First, walking. I’m up at 2:30am. I then take Rocky for a half mile. Minimal distance. Yet it can be difficult. Takes about 40 minutes to complete. Movement, along with loss of speech, has been one of the more concerning symptoms that has developed within the past couple years. It can be a challenge.

Reference Health for additional detail.

The pace of walk has slowed significantly. Discouraging at times. I used to hike 30+ miles per week at altitude. Then another 10-30+ miles with a heavy pack on the weekend. Now it’s hard for me to walk half a mile at sea level. Yet I do my best to remain committed to move because of it’s importance on health.

The second approach to Build the Body is Weight Training. Been lifting 5-7 days per week since middle school. The practice remains to this day. It has become far more difficult though. However, like walking, I must lift consistently. Several benefits.

Current training schedule consists of the following:

Saturday: Leg / Quad / Calf
Sunday: Back / Bicep / Trap / Forearm
Monday: Chest / Tricep / Trap / Calf
Tuesday: Rest
Wednesday: Leg / Hamstring / Back
Thursday: Shoulder / Chest
Friday: Arm / Forearm

Workouts average 60-90 minutes. Target rep range is high. Typically 10-100 (depending on the exercise and weight). Reason, the body has been responding better to higher reps with lighter weight. Also had to make training adjustments due to the PCS / TBI symptoms and the impact they’ve had on strength.

At the end of each day the training results are then published through the Cairn Log. This keeps me accountable. It also ensures consistent execution of habits that are beneficial for health.

Rock 3 - Nutrition

To support the training and health requires sound nutrition.

Several approaches have been utilized over the years. Some of which include: vegetarian, protein and carbohydrates, animal based and carnivore.

The current approach: Meat.

Daily target protein intake is 220-260 grams. The majority of which is animal protein sourced from Colorado Craft, Primal Beef, The Butchery, Seven Sons, Eel River and Kettle & Fire.

My body and mind feel best when utilizing an animal based or carnivore approach to nutrition. One reason being that it has proven to build and maintain muscle while limiting excess weight gain. Then there are the positive cognitive effects that come from the high amount of protein and fat being consumed.

Supplementation is also incorporated. See Health Appendix B for details.

I’ve also incorporated Intermittent Fasting. The most common being Time Restricted Feeding. Then there are 24 - 36 Hour Fasts. Only a few have been completed. Need to further assess.

The intent is to sticly follow the Nutrition Plan. An exception being for Saturday. That day anything can be eaten.

Overall, this approach to Nutrition (along with training) has proven to be effective. The bloodwork and scans completed throughout the past few years validate it. Along with the ability to manage the challenging symptoms that come with PCS and TBI.

Rock 4 - Conditioning Cairn

As noted above, the foundation of the Cairn Log is the HRTLEAD Creed. The Conditioning Cairn is the core. It’s purpose is two fold. First, identify the key practices. Second, establish accountability for executing these practices through measurement.

The practices are Training, Nutrition and Creed. Here’s how the tool is designed.

At the end of each day a rating will then be given based on the quality of efforts and results achieved. The scoring system is 1 to 3.

3 = Strong
2 = Good
1 = Poor

The objective is to score 9/9. Every day. In doing so, it ensures consistent display of the right behaviors that build strong habits. All of which is needed to effectively manage the health and work through the adversity being faced.

Rock 5 - Notes

Another component of analysis within the Cairn Log is Notes. It consists of: Education, Health and Heart & Lead. All of which serve a purpose.

First is Education.

After graduating in 2009 a commitment was made to daily study. The majority of which has consisted of reading / listening to books focused on:

Management & Leadership
Health, Fitness & Nutrition
Biograhies & History
Religion & Spirituality
Entrepreneurship & Business
Concussions & TBI
Psychology & Professional Development

Since that time, an average of 3-6 hours a day has been invested. These efforts have resulted in the completion of several hundred books per year (1,015 in 2020).

The current focus is still devoted to daily study. However, the past 14 months have been more focused on Podcasts and other forms of media.

This commitment to consistent study has been important to conditioning the mind, personal development and health. More details will be provided through a future post.

Next is Health.

Experiencing brain injury (concussions, tbi, repetitive head hits and post concussive syndrome) can be challenging.

There are a few reasons for this. First, the quantity of symptoms. Many of which are noted in the first image above. Second, the daily management of symptoms. Most days all symptoms are experienced. However, the symptoms vary in intensity; day to day and week to week. One example being the lows of depression compared to the highs of mania. Point being, every day there is uncertainty of the mental and physical challenges that will be faced. This makes the situation more difficult to manage.

Therefore, a commitment has been made to document the symptoms. Here’s why:

To document first requires identification.
Identification creates awareness.
Awareness then generates clarity and understanding.

Greater clarity and understanding of the symptoms, their severity and patterns then provides the insights needed to better manage the health. That’s why health is assessed and analyzed daily.

Last is Heart & Lead.

Origin shares the story of creation for this platform.

It’s also a focus within Cairn Logs. The reason, building Heart & Lead generates purpose. Having a purpose, especially during times of adversity, has proven to be beneficial. Documenting also supports accountability in making consistent progress.

Therefore, efforts to build Heart & Lead are assessed then detailed each day.

Rock 6 - Reflections

This is the last rock of the Cairn. Its focus is on documenting thoughts and insights of the day. This includes analysis of efforts, lessons learned, identifying areas to improve, recognizing successes, updates on health and more.

Some days it includes one or two bullets. Others include none. It’s a section of the Cairn Log that can be better utilized.

Recap

170 Cairn Logs have been posted as I near the completion of this Post. The experience of leveraging then publishing the Cairn Log has proven to be beneficial. The primary reason being comes back to the importance of Self-Identity. As noted throughout the introduction of this post:

‘Image of self’ determines ‘thoughts of self’.

Thoughts drive behaviors. Behaviors create habits. Habits generate results. Quality of results then weakens, maintains or strenghtens the Self-Identity. All of which impacts the quality of health and life. The Cairn Log also provides guidance on how to leverage this process for good. In doing so, it strengthens the Self-Identity. A requirement to get through the adversity being faced.

That’s why the Cairn Log was created. That’s why the Cairn Log will continue to be leveraged.